Disclaimer: Not my boys, although I kind of love them like they were.
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Word Count: ~1200
Warnings (overall): language, silliness, crazy!Logan
Summary: James is gone for the weekend and Logan has a battle with pie.
Author's Notes: Just a silly idea I had. :)
Logan had been managing to keep quiet so far. It was still early on a Saturday and everyone else was asleep, and he preferred them to stay that way. It would be nearly impossible to get anything done in the kitchen with everyone up and about and judging him.
But then he'd ruined the stupid meringue—again—and it was just all so frustrating. Logan was a genius, dammit, and making pie was not rocket fucking science.
Maybe he'd have better luck if it was.
He'd been grumbling and muttering to himself all morning, not to mention the whole room smelled like food, but that particularly loud expletive was what did it—not 30 seconds later, Kendall came skidding out of the hallway while Carlos ran out onto the balcony, helmet in place, looking around like he was anticipating an attack.
"Logan," Kendall said, and Logan glared at him for no real reason other than he was irritated at the world at the moment. "What—are you doing?"
"He's making pie!" Carlos exclaimed, and Logan barely opened his mouth to say something before Carlos was standing on the other side of the counter, wide-eyed and expectant.
"It's not for you," Logan told him, grabbing the bowl of useless meringue protectively. Carlos slumped, and Logan immediately felt bad. He sighed. "When I can get one to actually turn out right you can taste it."
Carlos grinned but Logan's attention turned to Kendall, who was walking over to them slowly. "You're making pie? At like 8 in the morning? On a Saturday? Why? Dude, you look like some crazed pastry chef or something. You're a mess. The kitchen is a mess." He waved an arm around to illustrate his point.
"That's because making pie is not as easy as they would lead you to believe!" Logan shouted in his own defense.
"Keep it down!" Kendall hissed. "It's bad enough you woke us up, we really do not want to risk waking up my mom and sister, okay? And who are 'they', exactly?"
"The stupid pie bloggers!" Logan said, a little more quietly, and jabbed his whisk in the direction of his open laptop sitting on the other counter.
"What kind of pie are you making?" Carlos asked, grin still firmly in place.
"That is really not the issue here, Carlos," Kendall said before Logan could answer. "The bigger question is why Logan has turned the kitchen into a sugary war-zone this early on a Saturday."
Kendall was looking at him expectantly. Logan tried to corral his thoughts. "I…needed to learn how to make pie."
That got him an eyebrow-raise, but then Carlos said "Ah, I get it."
"Get what?" Kendall and Logan both asked.
"He's James-sick," Carlos said, and although that was the weirdest phrasing Logan could imagine he still knew exactly what Carlos meant and it made him blush. "You know, like home-sick, except with James."
"Carlos, that is not—" Logan tried to say.
"Oh, wow, he's right," Kendall interrupted. "James has been gone for like a whole what, 16 hours and you've gone loopy."
"That is not true!" Logan protested, brandishing his meringue-laden whisk at them.
"Can I lick that?" Carlos asked.
Logan opened his mouth intending to deny the request, but then he remembered the damn stuff was already ruined. "I guess," he said, handing over the whisk to Carlos. "I need to start over anyway."
Carlos moved to the other counter and took a seat, licking the whisk happily, but Kendall continued his scrutiny. "Okay, so how exactly does James visiting his mom for the weekend translate into you going into crazy pie-baking mode?"
Logan leaned back against the cabinets and looked forlornly into his bowl. He stuck a finger in the meringue and tasted it. It might have been useless for pies, but at least it was still edible. Pretty good, actually. But not good enough.
"Logan?" Kendall prompted after a few moments of silence.
"He called me," Logan said, trying to will himself and his brain into coherency. He'd barely slept and he'd been up making—attempting to make—pies since like five a.m. "Last night."
"James did?" Kendall asked, walking over to take the stool next to Carlos. Logan nodded, glancing up. Carlos offered the whisk to Kendall but he shook his head. "And what did James say?"
Logan sighed, and could already feel his nerves reacting at the memory of the conversation. "Basically that he's going to leave me for a pie-maker."
"What?!" Kendall and Carlos asked together, equally incredulous.
The meringue bowl was tossed down on the counter as Logan turned to them. "You see why I have to do this? I got to hear all about the new pie shop at home and how his mom took him there yesterday because, you know, James loves pie, and apparently the owner of the place is some young, probably hot guy who learned how to bake pies from his grandmother and he can make any kind of pie there is and it's the best pie James has ever tasted and the guy was so smart and knew everything about pie and let James taste every single one and James couldn't decide what to take home so his mom bought him like five whole pies and he's probably going to eat them all this weekend but don't worry, he'll pick up some more before he leaves so we all get to taste how amazing James's future husband's pies are."
Logan strode forward, taking the meringue bowl with him, and grabbed the whisk out of a slack-jawed Carlos's hand.
"And I'm not losing to a fucking pie-maker," Logan added before turning on the sink. "So when James gets home he'll see. I might not have learned from my grandmother or anything but I can follow a damn recipe and I have the whole Internet! I can make anything too!"
"Logan?" Carlos said, tentatively.
"What?!" Logan jerked his head up to glare at them.
"Nothing," Carlos said quickly, shaking his head. "Um. Good luck with the pie."
"Okay," Kendall said, "this is too much crazy for me this early in the morning. I'm going back to bed. Carlos, um, I think we should give Logan his space."
"Oh, uh…okay," Carlos agreed, looking reluctantly at the ingredients and empty pie crusts lining the countertop. Logan hadn't even managed to get a stupid pie in the oven yet so he didn't even know if the crusts were any good.
As his friends left, Logan went to his laptop, whisk in hand, to once again check the recipe for meringue. He would get this right, dammit. That stupid pie-maker in Minnesota might be James's favorite right now but that would all change soon.
"Do you really think those pies are that good?" Carlos whispered excitedly from somewhere behind Logan.
Logan turned and sent the whisk flying, but he hadn't aimed very well and it didn't hit anywhere near Carlos. Still, the sound was enough to send both him and Kendall running towards the bedrooms.
Maybe meringue was too advanced for now anyway. Logan had until Sunday evening to perfect his pie-making, so there was no need to go for the complicated recipes first. He could try something simple. That stupid saying 'easy as pie' had to come from somewhere, right?
Right, Logan's sleep-deprived, hysteria-wracked brain supplied for him, 'easy as pie' is exactly how you're going to lose James.
Logan walked across the room to retrieve his whisk.
He wasn't losing to a fucking pie-maker. No way.
Originally posted at http://rensahannou.dreamwidth.org/96908.html. Comment here, or there using OpenID.